Monday, November 3, 2008
why dont you just give up.
is what i am telling myself right now. Why am I trying if all that ever seems to happen is the same thing, am i wrong for the way I feel? I am human just like everyone else. I want to move out and be on my own, it is like I have been on this same path the last 13 years. What makes this time any different? Still the same struggles just a different city, a different time. A normal life seems kind of nice right now, but then again would I really be very happy? Would things really be any different? It is like I am screaming in the middle of a forest for God to save me, and he can't hear me because of all the trees sheltering my voice. It feels like no one really knows how I feel right now, but then again of course people out there do right? I don't know why someone would drop it all to follow their one passion, even if it means struggling in every aspect of life. Here I am doing the same thing for myself it is not selfish at all. These dreams get put into our heart to follow and not let anything get in the way. So why should I be upset? I just want to give up on my family, music, band, god, work, anything that I enjoy and sacrifice my time for. It's like everyone else can do what they want, and then when it comes to me it is not the same story. I have to be perfect when I am not.
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idk why but this came to mind after reading...maybe its from GOD,idk, but take it how u will bro:
God will provide Laz. But as you know so well, it is all in his timing. I mean yeah, we still have to hold up on our end, but ultimately Gods will happens on his timing. And the struggles we go through are all for a reason. God has a lesson for you in all of this, idk what, but im sure you will figure it out in time.He gives us only what we can handle and nothing more. haha, you can joke about it, but i honestly believe that Oregon was an eye opener sent from God. He showed me SO much, and even tho i wasnt living right, i have been told and come to believe it myself that God put that in my life to share with others.someone will walk in to my life with a simular situation and i am going to relate to them, i will b able to help them out and hopefully stop them from making the mistake i made. Im not saying that is what your supposed to get out of it, just showing an example of things that are put in our paths that are for a reason. stay strong man, dont let the devil lie to you. make the best of what God has given you and give him yet praise.
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